Divorce isn’t a mere step in a person’s life, it’s a declaration of finality and something has ended that will never be revived. It’s a way out for people who can’t see a future with the other person, or needs a way to escape that destructive relationship.
In most cases, however, the line that defines what is and isn’t a salvageable relationship is blurred, checkered, and all over the place. Even experienced divorce lawyers admit that some relationships end on the shallowest reasons that can be easily worked out if both parties were willing.
Happiness vs. Real Problems
What people mulling over possibly ending a marriage should consider is whether they’re unhappy with the relationship, or there’s something wrong with it, because there’s a difference. Unhappy marriages aren’t necessarily dysfunctional, because a person can be the best parent in the world, but become complete robots to their spouses.
Examples of dysfunctional relationships that need to end are cases involving abuse, neglect, and exploitation. If a person is in an unhappy marriage with children, they may need to shelve their pride for the good of the family.
Think of the Children
Divorces affect children more profoundly than adults may really comprehend – especially if the child is happy with their perceived state of the family. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, an extremely high number, making it a common occurrence. But that doesn’t make its effects any less hard or traumatizing.
When the facts of the case point to an unhappy marriage, divorce lawyers usually encourage talks between the spouses first. This allows the couples to look at the bigger picture of their relationship, and the people a separation will affect.
Too-Soon and Arrangements
There are of course unhappy marriages that are also un-salvageable. Good examples include arranged marriages (yes, that’s still a thing), and couples that got married too soon. Both cases are incredibly tricky because there’s a lot of cultural exchange going on when arranged marriages are concerned. Lawyers and couples aren’t just revoking a contract between two people; they’re revoking an agreement between two families that may have non-romantic interests in seeing the relationship survive.
There are also many variables concerning too-soon couples. Questions like, “Do they really have unfixable differences, or are they’re just too lazy to put the effort in?”, and “Was it really an honest mistake of youth, or a realization that they could do better?” often come up.
Divorce isn’t just a step; it’s jumping off a cliff eyes closed. Before making that leap, look around and try to see if it really is an unmanageable chasm, or a gap that can be bridged.